Written by IainB

Tuesday, 29 June 2010

image for Mark Croft: I'll show Kerry Katona sex tapes to judge
Exhibit A - Croft's Camera

Ex-Atomic Kitten, and ex-face of Iceland, Kerry Katona pleaded with ex-husband, Mark Croft, not to show the world the naughty sex tapes that he made during their time together.

The two are engaged in a bitter custody battle for their children, and Croft threatened to release the recordings to the highest bidder, with Hello magazine offering fifty pounds for exclusive rights standing at the most anybody offered.

Originally Katona denied that the tapes existed, but pleaded with Croft not to show them anyway, hinting that perhaps they do. Croft has acquiesced to this demand, but insists that he will use the tapes in their custody battle to show the judge what a dirty, dirty girl she is.

The alleged excerpts show several naughty romps between Katona and Croft in a variety of locations, including their bedroom, the kitchen, the conservatory and a beach in Naples. In most of the videos, Katona can be seen cavorting quite explicitly for the camera, indicating her knowledge and agreement in the filming.

According to Croft, the tapes are highly explicit, and all of Kerry Katona is visible, more than most people can stomach. In one of the videos, a figure that could be ex-ex-husband, Brian McFadden, is seen, though Croft denies that there was an ex-threesome.

The current list of judges who wish to take this case and examine the evidence increased on hearing the news, and now stands at seventy-three. Which is also their average age.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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