Those ancient croonies from way back when, Simon & Garfunkel, have decided to cancel their comeback tour because most of their fans are dead or deaf!
After doing a telly special and receiving rapturous reviews Simon & Garf decided to hit the road just like in the old days.
Dressed like hippies, flowers in the hair (what hair?) Paul Simon on the acoustic guitar accompanying the dolcit tones of his old mate, the dates were planned, venues booked and tickets put on sale.
Shock, horror, after turning up at their first revival gig there were only 2 punters in the theatre, ageing filmstar Dustin Hoffman and Mrs Robinson, all the others had either died or were deaf and didn't hear of their fab revival.
Disappointed Paul gave the following statement:
"It was like crossing a Bridge Over Troubled Water, we were looking forward to seeing all of those Watership Down fans and now they're all dead, shame!"
Simon & Garfunkel left the theatre being pushed in their wheelchairs but Paul promised his (non-dead) fans he'd be back with a solo tour of that fab classic "Graceland" with a revamped version of "Boy in a bubble with Diamonds on his shoes" called "Boy with one foot in the grave with shit on my shoes!"
