DES MOINES, Iowa - Former Vice-President Al Gore was in Des Moines, Iowa speaking before a gathering of The Iowa Corn Pickers Alliance.
Gore was asked if there was any truth to the rumor that he was dating 70s singer Linda Ronstadt. He replied that he did not know Ms. Ronstadt.
He was then asked if he was dating 70s singer Stevie Nicks of Fleetwood Mac. Gore again replied that he did not even know Ms. Nicks.
Well then how about Grace Slick, of the Jefferson Airplane, or the Wilson sisters from Heart. He grinned and said the woman that he was dating was not a singer.
One of the reporters asked Gore if it was Daryl Hannah? Elisabeth Edwards? Jenny Sanford? Sandra Bullock?
No, no, no, and no dammit.
He then stated that the woman he was dating had the initials S.S.
Sharon Stone? Nope. Sissy Spacek? Nope. Stella Stevens? Nope.
The reporters said that they all gave up. Gore grinned and told them that the woman he was dating was a woman who he has always felt was his soul mate.
One reporter hollered out Susan Sarandon.
"Bingo" Gore yelled out.
He smiled and said that he is 62, and Susan is 63. He said that he does not care if she doesn't have some big ones like Tipper had. He also said that he does not mind that she really doesn't do much with her hair either.
He did say that she cares about things like global warming, the penguin migration, polar bear neutering, and Eskimo profiling.
Gore was quick to point out that he and Sarandon, who is recently divorced from actor Tim Robbins, have decided to take it nice and easy. He said that they may just move in together and play house and see how that goes.
Gore was asked if he had received any advice from his best friend Bill Clinton. Al blushed and said that Billy had told him to be sure and have a great working knowledge of just exactly what the definition of is, is. He also said to be very careful with cigars, pizzas, blue dresses, and French ticklers.
Al Gore will be appearing on The Oprah Winfrey Show where he will reveal his recipe for his award winning Lobster Pizza.