Retired robotic cop, Robocop Alex Murphy, who bravely battled the might of OCP and almost single handedly cleaned up the streets of Old Detroit, when times were really, really bad, is all set to publish his memoirs in an earth shattering new autobiography.
Robocop, part man but mainly machine, who kind of makes buzzing and whirring noises when he moves, is now retired and living in a machine shop in Cleveland, Ohio. But his book promises to be next year's blockbuster.
It's expected that the book will focus on his time as a Patrolman in Old Detroit, an urban jungle which was so nasty that people would frequently be horrible even to themselves, and a place where women, children, and small, cute, cuddly, furry pets were regarded as little more than cannon-fodder.
Our reporter in Cleveland, Robbie DeReBoot managed to track Robocop Murphy down to the machine shop where he lives in the hope of a sneak preview of the upcoming book. Robocop Murphy wouldn't go into too much detail, because he was busy cutting an internal helical screw thread into a stainless steel oilseal component for a jet engine - just for something to do like - but he did tell us:
"I loved it when I was pounding the beat. Yeah, those were great days. But you know what never ceased to amaze me? Well I'll tellya. It was the way the bad guys kept trying to shoot me. I'm like, mainly titanium, stainless steel and kevlar, so the bullets just bounce off me generally. I shrug off explosions, and they can't even take me apart with tungsten carbide tipped cutters. But still they'd try to shoot me and stuff. To be honest, I just got to a point where I didn't give a shit any more. If the silly sods were prepared to stand up and keep shooting at me, I'd be only too happy to take them out. Shoot their balls off and stuff. Didn't matter to me either way. Some of those bad guys were just really dumb."
The Robocop memoirs will be released sometime next year, when the publishers can pry Robocop away from lathes, milling machines, surface grinders and spark eroders.
More as we get it.
