Our source, eccentric British film director Buffty Ginslinger has been telling us for weeks now that the eventual winner of the search for a Dorothy for The Wizard Of Oz will be none other than Andrew Lloyd-Webber himself.
We didn't believe him.
We should have.
Because live on TV, Sir Dukelord Lloyd-Webber finally snapped, brushed the remaining contestants to one side and announced in a manly voice that if you want a job doing properly, then the best way is to do it yourself.
And so Lord Sir Andrew will play Dorothy. Apparently the wig won't be too much of a problem, and as he actually looks younger than most of the potential Dorothy's, he doesn't foresee any problems.
Buffty Ginslinger also relates how Charlotte Church, Amanda Holden, and Sheila Hancock all turned the part down, and that although Amy Winehouse showed some initial interest it was generally felt that a multiple tattooed Dorothy wasn't really an option.
In the meantime Buffty Ginslinger continues to work on his biopic of popular 60's TV wrestler Mick McManus, starring Alex Reid as Mick McManus, and Peter Andre as Jackie 'Mister TV' Pallo. Ginslinger insists that his wrestling 'grunt'n'groan-grapple extravaganza' will be much bigger than the West End production of The Wizard Of Oz anyway. He told us:
"Lloyd-Webber can stick his fucking Dorothy right up his arse. I've got Jordan doing a nude cameo in my flick, and I've got JLS fighting over who's going to play 60's grappler Johnny Kwango. And I've got Jodie Marsh to flap her baps out. And I've got Peter Kay lined up to play wrestling funnyman legend Les Kellet! The Wizard of Oz - I've fucking shit it!"
More as we get it.