Written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

image for The Day After C&W Singer Chely Wright Reveals She's a Lesbian Dolly Parton Proclaims: "Not Me, No Way José, I Like Peckers!"
Chely Wright says that being a lesbian feels right. (Photo from the Rosie O'Donnell Collection).

NASHVILLE - The day after country music songstress Chely Wright announced that she is a lesbian, one of country music's icon's Dolly Parton has stated that she is not a lesbian and that she is partial to as she put it 'peckers.'

Parton, who is 64, was just yesterday rescued from the ravishing flood waters of the Cumberland River which overflowed its banks.

Miss Parton was found clinging to the trailer hitch of her double wide trailer. See Story by Cap Morse

A spokesperson for Nashville's Grits and Tits Clinic said that Parton was reportedly doing good but her waterlogged bra (size 34DDDDD) had to be destroyed due to river water smell, possible mole contamination, and sardine infestation.

Throughout the years Dolly has had such hits as "Jolene - The Sex Fiend Of New Orleans," "I Will Always Love You Unless You Start A Beatin' On Me A'gin," "Islands In The Stream Of My Peein'," and "Here You Come Again Bubba And That Makes A Record-Breaking Three Times Tonight Hee Haw."

Ms. Parton was asked what she thought about fellow singer Chely Wright coming out of the bunkhouse closet and revealing to the world that she is a crotch cookie coveter (lesbian).

Dolly grinned, adjusted her bra, spit into a styrofoam cup, and said, "Well, it's like dis. She's got a donut just like I does. But da diff'rence is what we puts in our donuts.

Now me, I likes me dat good old-fashioned country sausage in my donut. Whereas Chely prefers to stuff her donut wiff another donut. Now I ain't one to criticize mindja, but I sure does reckon dat, dat has got to be about as satisfying as sittin' around on a bale of hay watching stink on a hog."

To view some amazingly graphic photographs of Dolly Parton's immensely huge hooters do yourself a favor and log on to www.gollydollydemknockersarebig.tit

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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