Kristen Stewart Loses Baby!

Funny story written by Bureau

Saturday, 1 May 2010

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The latest from the Twilight Land is that star actress Kristen Stewart has lost her baby.

Kristen's dad, actor Patrick Stewart, says that his daughter is doing fine but is very distraught over her loss and will not grant any interviews at the present.

"She got 'Baby' as a puppy at Christmas in 1999 and the two have always been close. Right now she just needs some time alone to grieve. I told her I would see the press for her."

However, a couple of minutes later, Kristen came out of the clinic door and walked over to hug her dad.

"It's OK, Dad. I've lost Baby and I will have to face up to that."

Kristen stated that she had received a lot of flowers from friends and fellow actors.

"I even got one from Ashley Greene who has a cat. I received a nice letter from Susan Boyle who is a great animal lover. She has that kind of look, doesn't she?"

Patrick then asked the reporters to leave but our own reporter, Dan Hillyard, handed Kristen a kitten that brought a sudden smile to her face and a palm full of piss.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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