TUCSON, Arizona - Tiger Woods, aka "WonderWiener" was visiting the state of Arizona before a presidential mandate closes it to all American citizens except for atheists, KKKers, crackheads, and Foxers Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, and "Rub A Dub Dub" Limbaugh.
Eldrick Tont Woods was asked if the new updated blonde bitch number of 121 was accurate. Woods grinned like the piece of adulterated shithead he is and replied "Yeah, da number be a right one."
He was quickly asked a follow up question, "Dammit it boy! How the hell did you ever find the time to play golf with all the pokin', boinking, and salami hiding you were doing?"
Woods thought for a moment and said, that it was easy cause he has a prescription to a new energy drink that is put out by the makers of Viagra. The drink is called Woodpeckerade.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: I'm sorry to say that we cannot mention Woodpeckerade's advertising slogan because it has way, way, too many vulgar, nasty, dick euphemisms.]