Jesus Christ was arrested just outside of Phoenix this morning by Sheriff Joe Arpaio, Arizona's famous racist Sheriff. Media outlets are reporting that Jesus and twelve companions were traveling to Phoenix when Arpaio stopped them on suspicion of being illegal aliens.
When the group couldn't show papers, the Sheriff arrested them and charged Jesus with riding on a stolen donkey. The group was taken to the Maricopa County Jail, a female companion was taken to a different facility and charged with pandering.
As word of the arrest of Jesus spread and crowds gathered at the jail, Sheriff Arpaio placed an additional charge against Jesus, stating that he had been inciting to riot when he had taken a taco from another inmate, turned it into one hundred and fed the entire jail population.
Arpaio issued a statement saying he knew that Jesus and his companions were illegal. "They matched my color chart. Everyone knows that the real Jesus has blond hair, blue eyes and was born in Owensboro, Kentucky. My momma didn't raise no stupid kids."
In related news, severe thunderstorms spread across the area today and spawned several tornadoes, one of which hit the Maricopa County Jail, cracking the foundation.