Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 22 April 2010

image for Charges Against Cheerleader Implicated in "TattooGate" Turn Out To Be Unfounded
Four of Vanetta May McMustard's fellow cheerleaders.

DALLAS - A prominent football organization has issued a statement to the national media stating that the rumor about one of their cheerleaders being involved with Jesse James "TattooGate" scandal is totally without basis.

Agnes Lulu Webbsnicker spokesperson for the cheerleader organization said that the cheerleader identified as Vanetta May McMustard of Shreveport, Louisiana said that she has been so traumatized by the false accusations of her being one of the Cycle Chicks that she just wants to go up to Iceland and inhale a bunch of volcanic ash.

Miss McMustard, who is 21, said that she has never been more embarrassed in her life. She pointed out that she was even more embarrassed than last year, when she forgot to put on her cheerleaders uniform short shorts and 65,000 fans saw her prance out onto the football field wearing her Victoria's Secret pink bikini thongs.

Vanetta May, who measures 38-24-40 said that even her boyfriend, Kenyon Washington has broken up with her believing that the rumor was true.

Vee Emm, as her grandmother calls her did say that two other boyfriends Levon Madison and Tyrone Edison have said that they will stand by her and believe that she is innocent.

Levon reportedly said, "Seys, I does not care what da media be sayin' 'bout Vanny. Da bitch got sum fine lookin' butterbags, a fine lookin' booty, and an even finer lookin' boom boom box on her."

One of McMustard's other boyfriends Tyrone stated, "Lemmy juss sey, dat Van da hand can go off and do da wild thang wiff whatever bro she be wantin' so longs as I can do da same doo dah thang myself uh huh, but wiff sista's a course not wiff bro's, hell dat be effen gay and shit."

So apparently there is no real harm done to Vanetta May McMustard or to her reputation other than losing her main boyfriend Kenyon Washington.

Vanetta, who weighs 127, wanted everyone to know that all of Jesse James "TattooGate" bitches are all covered with tattoos. And she (McMustard) does not have even one. Yes, she admitted that she does have some cellulite that looks like a tattoo of black cottage cheese but it ain't.

In a related story. Richard Simmons has told Larry King that the rumors about him being a member of the Cycle Chicks are absolutely false.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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