No Sex Please I'm Gaga

Written by Skoob1999

Wednesday, 14 April 2010


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Gaga Denies Being A Virgin.

Although fans and friends alike remain extremely skeptical as to whether Lady Gaga was being serious or not, the eccentric singer with the telephone shaped hat and the two pairs of pouty lips has come right out and said that she's celibate right now.

Sticking up for celibacy, Gaga said that she wasn't having sex at the moment - which was pretty obvious really because she was sitting in a chair in a TV studio as she spoke, and there was quite obviously nobody writhing about sweating and groaning on top of her - and advised her fans to think about it long and hard before having sex.

It's a known fact that Gaga actively supports various aids charities, and it is thought that she was speaking in such a way so as to deter younger fans from indulging in sexual experimentation. Without proper protection.

Gaga said that youngsters who experimented with sex were trying to climb up a big greasy pole and would inevitably end up in a dark damp place.

Gaga was philosophical about her self imposed celibacy and said that she would adopt a 'suck it and see' attitude. She went on to say that since she had become famous she had developed a taste for chicken farming, and had bought two dozen hens and was on the look out for a big strong cock.

A close friend informed us that she was probably taking the piss.

More as it comes up.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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