Musical Group Train Proves You Can Have A Hit Song By Just Putting Random Words Together

Written by The Lampoon Journal

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

TORONTO - Musical group, Train, recently released their fifth album entitled 'Save Me San Francisco' featuring the hit song Hey, Soul Sister to mixed reviews last week. The song, like pretty much any other Train song, features a melodic tune with lots of use of the word 'Hey' and extensive elongating of the vowels. What is more apparent, however, and a growing trend among pretty much anything the group writes, is the choice use of words in conjunction with any sense of coherency, or lack thereof.

"With your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brains"
"Can you imagine no love, pride, deep fried chicken, your best friend always stickin up for you."
"When children have to play inside so they don't disappear"
"And futbol teams are kissing Queens"

Above is an example of tidbits taken from the songs, 'Hey, Soul Sister,' 'Drops of Jupiter,' and 'Calling All Angels.' What the demonstration of juxtaposition shows is the arrangement of tangential words spread across a page like freckles on a red head. It's not just so much that the occurrence has taken place, it's moreso that they are actually getting away with it.

"Train is one of those groups that has catchy songs that rhyme. I bought their first album and didn't realize that I was pretty much listening to nonsensical gibberish used specifically for arrangement of rhyming. Record Town would not take my refund, but not because the CD sucked, because they were out of business," said music lover David Michaels. "I wonder if FYE would take it back. Or maybe Spencer's Gifts. That store will take anything. Who is Spencer and why would he sell Slinky's in the same store they sell calendars of cats?" Michaels wondered aloud in almost a tangential parallel to the topic of incohesive behavior.

For most of the world, the lyrics to Train's songs have gone mildly unnoticed due to the fact that somehow, as humans, singing opens a portal of dementia or illucidity in that we can literally speak words and not recall or translate in our minds the meaning of them. Such is the premise of their success, says lead singer Patrick Monahan.

"When we write songs, the overall content or message is of little concern. We mainly look for words that are easy to rhyme with like 'bat' or 'here' or 'day.' You can rhyme almost anything with this words, and then we build sentences around that," Monahan proudly declared. "And if you get to a word that doesn't have a rhyming match like 'catch,' you just elongate the predominant vowel and it the word somehow rhymes with itself. It's genius really," he concluded.

While the debate over using random words to create a hit song may labor on, Monahan rebuffs that she checks out Mozart while she does Tai-bo, but that just reminds him that there's room to grow and that you imagine no love, pride, or deep fried chicken, while your best friends are always sticking up for you? Exactly.

© 2010, The Lampoon Journal. All rights reserved.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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