Jennifer Aniston Says She Would Like To Try Her Luck With Jesse James

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 17 April 2010

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Jennifer Aniston, who has probably had more dates in the past two years, than all of the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders combined, has stated that she would like to date Jesse James, once his divorce from Sandra Bullock is final.

Aniston, who has a history of bad luck when it comes to dating men, pointed out that maybe her problem has been that she seems to date metrosexual men and needs to get together with a nasty, vulgar, dirt under the fingernails son-of-a-bitch, much like Jesse James.

Jennifer has pointed out that she thinks that it's time to stop dating men who know more about applying eye shadow, eye liner, and lipstick than she does.

She smiled and said that she will also make a strong effort to stop dating men who seem to enjoy wearing her panties more than she does.

And the 41-year-old blonde said that she will most definitely stop dating men who seem to focus on the crotch areas of other males when they are in a restaurant having dinner with her.

Jennifer says that she has always had a strange fascination with men who wear tattoos, especially ugly-ass tattoos, of which JJ has dozens of.

Word is when Jesse James heard about what Aniston had said about him he got a great big smile on his face, a bright glow in his eyes, and a noticeable hard on in the crotch of his blue jeans.

He then remarked about how funny it was that only yesterday he had been fantasizing about taking Jen for a ride on his Harley Davidson motorcycle with him wearing a Nazi helmet and a Nazi uniform and Aniston wearing only a Nazi helmet and nothing else.

When Jennifer heard about Jesse's fantasy she grinned from ear-to-ear and asked "So when is that filthy mother effen bastard Jesse's divorce final again?"

In other news. Volcanic ash from Iceland's Eyjafjallajokull volcano is so powerful that it is starting to affect vegetation on the moon.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more