Well known writers for TheSpoof.com Erskin Quint and Victor Nicholas recently returned from a successful hunting expedition to the furthest reaches of the Conga River in search of the elusive and rarely captured Cheetah Sloth.
Safe and sound after their month long adventure the two explorers spoke of their ordeal to a small number of like minded adventurers at the Soane Museum.
Quint started by saying "Through wit and guile and a bit of good luck we got our limit and came back with our lives as well."
"We were fortunate to have members of the Willy-WeeNug tribe as native beaters and upholstery repairman on our journey having brought large recliners with us to comfort us while stalking the great sloth in a prone position for extended periods of time during the hunt."
Nicholas chimed in and added how he had to often remind Erskin, not to spook the Cheetah Sloth when they were on it's trail as "They can be most ferocious when angered."
"Once we found their trail we stalked them for a week or more until we finally caught sight of the beast then the hunting began in earnest. We stood motionless hardly breathing waiting for each other to make the first move, it was a test of nerves."
"Then I went in for the kill with my bare hands and a hunting knife which I kept well hidden until I was upon the beast lest it try to disarm me and gain the upper hand."
"Fortunately for both of us Erskin had the presence of mind to distract the beast by reciting an amusing anecdote from his youth about bicycling with gentlemen who are now quite notable which pleased us all greatly and was greatly appreciated considering the circumstances."
"Not one to shilly shally I seized the moment and in no time at all I had the fetid beast over my shoulder as my trophy as Erskin finished with his story while the heathen WeeNugs leapt to and fro dancing with utter joy."