Written by Football mole

Friday, 9 April 2010

image for X Factor judge sought
A large queue recently

With Dannii Minogue knocked up, the search is now on for a new judge to sit on the panel during the next season of the X factor.

Simon Cowell, 23, has announced that a nationwide hunt is to be launched with the results to be screened in a new show entitled "So you want to be a talent contest judge".

Tens of thousands of hopeful wannabes with be queuing up to sniff Dannii's chair and to sit along side Simon, 34, and Geordie warbler Cheryl Tweedy, 56, to cast a "professional" eye over a relentless parade of misguided individuals who will be hoping to follow in the footsteps of such entertainment luminaries as Bargain bin regular Steve Brookstein and roly poly tubster Rick Waller.

And that bloke with the stutter.

Retailers are already ordering extra large bargain bins that will eventually hold the winner's version of Unchained Melody.

Contestants on SYWTBATCJ will be put through several rigorous tests including spontaneous crying and to see how well they can patronise people.

At the time of press, it is unclear who will be sitting on the panel of judges who will be judging the contest to find the new judge, but Simon Cowell, 38, has ruled himself out of the running in order to concentrate on his bank statements.

The show will run for several painful months, right up until the X factor starts again.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: X-Factor

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