SANTA MONICA, California - Former movie star Burt Reynolds and former singer Kenny Rogers have both had so much damn plastic surgery, liposuction, botox, collagen injections, and breast augmentation done that the two are beginning to look eerily alike.
Dr. Timothy F. Wintermelon, who performed stomach, nose, and Adams apple liposuction on Kenny Rogers, 71, says that it is not really that unusual for two individuals who are having the extensive plastic surgeries that Mr. Rogers and Mr. Reynolds are having to end up looking alike.
The doctor said that Rogers has had a total of 29 procedures done and Reynolds has had a total of 32. He went on to say that these two men are probably the two vainest males in Hollywood, with the one possible exception of that dipshit, ass-wipe germ homophobic Howie Mandel.
Dr. Wintermelon said that he knows for a fact that his client, Kenny Rogers even had penis enhancement surgery which made his "Little Kenny" go from being 4 inches long to being 4.2 inches long.
Dr. Wintermelon said that the PE for short, no pun intended, cost Rogers right at $14,800, not including parts and labor.
He pointed out that in 74-year-old Reynold's case he had penis reduction surgery which took his groin gadget from 7 inches to 4.3 inches.
Dr. Wintermelon said that Reynolds was starting to unknowingly sit on his wiener without realizing it until he let out a wild Banshee yell.
The doctor said that he understands from talking to Reynolds personal physician, Dr. K.K. Pumpkinskeller, who performed the surgery, that Reynolds had told him that the last straw came when he was at a Redondo Beach McDonald's in February and after getting his Big Mac Meal he sat down and did not notice that he sat smack dab right on his Mr. Happy Guy.
Reynolds reportedly yelled out so loud that the four cars that were waiting in line at the drive-thru all suddenly took off at a high rate of speed.
In a related story. Kenny Rogers denied the rumor that him and Burt Reynolds were going to star in a movie about an aging movie star and an aging country singer who suddenly and without rhyme or reason turn as gay as Clay Aiken (of American Idol) and Sean Hayes (of Will and Grace).
