Saturday, 25 April 2009

image for Burt Reynolds, GM Discuss Pontiac Division Deal Terms
GM exec sizing up a failed Pontiac model.

ATLANTA, GA - With Gasosaurus Motorex (GM) struggling to maintain economic viability and pondering its End Game, GM's Pontiac division now faces The Longest Yard, and it's Uphill All the Way.

Many insiders believe Pontiac's unfocused, Semi-Tough line to be its ultimate source of demise, but actually, Pontiac never fully recovered from rising gas prices and government mandates on fuel efficiency in the seventies. These largely ended the heyday of the heavy-horsepowered American automobile, effectively Switching Channels on production lines across the US, The Last Producer of muscle cars.

Some might argue Burt Reynolds' career never fully recovered from the plethora of Smokey and the Bandit rip-offs he starred in after the original, but now it appears he might offer Deliverance to GM's Pontiac division.

Reynolds' finances at the present time are in considerably better order than GM's, and he believes he is in a position to continue producing a reduced, more unified line of muscle cars, Starting Over production at a brand new plant in the Heat, the City Heat of Atlanta, GA.

The Trans Am would be the centerpiece of the line. Though it is Rough Cut at present, Reynolds is working on plans for a modern redesign retaining many of the classic features of the '77 car used in Smokey and the Bandit. A limited Burt Reynolds edition will be outfitted in the original black and gold and will come with a custom-fitted pair of sh*tkickers.

Reynolds says he believes the pared down, souped up line should do quite well. He added that, with Physical Evidence in on global warming, most of the competition is Breaking In new hybrid and electric models. He says he should be able to fill the niche they leave behind in The End.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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