American Idol: Paige Miles Should Be Shown The Exit Door Fo Sho Fo Shizzle My Nizzle

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 24 March 2010


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image for American Idol: Paige Miles Should Be Shown The Exit Door Fo Sho Fo Shizzle My Nizzle
A closeup of Paige "Miles and Miles of Pitchy Notes" Miles.

HOLLYWOOD - The American Idol song theme, was songs that have been number one on The Billboard Chart.

And like they say in Shanghai, China, Ying chu fu wong su damn yikes!, which means It sho do look like the end of da road fo da last of da sistas.

And the end of the road is facing Paige Miles smack dab in her non-competitive face.

Miles sang the song by Phil Collins Against All Odds and she could not have picked a better song to describe her American Idol predicament.

Last week Paige had a case of laryngitis. This week she just had a case of no spirititis. Randy's eyes got the size of golf balls as he said, "Yo, check it out dude. Damn, dawg, it was as pitchy as hell. It was terrible and it hurt my ass to have to listen to ya bro."

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Randy Jackson is somewhat strange in the fact that he calls everyone, males and females alike, dudes, dawgs, bro's, and yo's. Randy the Dawg basically be kinda effed up a bit.]

Ellen shook her lesbianistic short blonde hair and simply said, "Hmmmm...ouchers! Damn friggin' ouchers babe...sorry."

Kara managed to take her hands out of Simon's pants pockets just long enough to say "Wow, Paige. Girl, listening to you sing that song was kind of like villagers watching a volcano getting ready to erupt and knowing that it is gonna be bad and it will only get even worse when you get that volcanic lava shit all over you."

Simon shook his head and said "Paige, if I may be honest. That song sucked the big one. Goodness gracious girl did someone pay you to sing horrible or what? Damn, if I may, I suggest that you just go on home right now. There really is no sense in hanging around and prolonging the agony. That was positively horrendous. A woodpecker pecking on a telephone pole sounds ten times better. I would not doubt it if the Fox Network doesn't levy a fine on your, as Kanye would say, ample boo-tay."

The camera then panned to Ryan who shrugged his shoulders and asked Paige, if he could go ahead and call her a cab to take her to the airport.

In a related story. Miley Cyrus, the American Idol singers mentor for the week said of Paige. "Wowers. She has got to be the worst singer in the ten year history of American Idol. The chick makes Tatiana Del Toro sound like Celine effen Dion."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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