NEW ORLEANS - The Association of Community Organizations For Reform Now, aka ACORN has announced that they are on the verge of bankruptcy.
A spokesperson, who wanted to remain nameless but said that we could use the name Leroy, said that she has seen the ACORN books and they do not look pretty.
When asked what seems to be the problem, Leroy replied, "Well da problem seem to be's several damn thangs. One be what dey calls mismanagement. Two be what dey calls Uncle Sam cuttin' off federalized and governmentalized funding such as money fo dis and dat."
Leroy went on to say that another thing that is causing ACORN to go under is that they are three months behind in their rent and two months behind in their electric bills.
Leroy also pointed out, "And another thang be dat we be's tree months behind in da payments of da organization's seven Cadillac Escalade SUV's, kind of like da one dat Tiger Wood's old lady beat da shit out of wiff his number 3 iron back on Turkey Day of last year."
Another spokesperson for ACORN who also spoke but wanted us to use the name Tyrone said that she has personally written 83 emails to President Barack Obama explaining the situated situation and he has only bothered to respond to 76 of those emails.
When Tyrone was asked if she had put in for a stimulus package, she replied, "Put's in fo a stimulated package? Why hell yeah honey child. We done put in fo one of dem thangs. But dey keep sayin' dat we has already received 23 of dem damn thangs and dey says dat dey can't be givin' us no more or else dem damn Republican crackers will start jumping up and down like dey got's fire ants in their boxers."
Garrett St. Panda, an Arkansas attorney who specializes in cases of a 'civilized rights' nature has said that he will represent ACORN pro-bono, pro-pane, and pro-ball and see if he can't get them into Chapter 11, bankruptcy status.
St. Panda says that his goal is to reorganize ACORN as a hip hop rap music talent agency.
SIDENOTE: St. Panda says that meanwhile he will see to it that each and everyone of ACORN's 400,000 members is provided with job applications to McDonald's, Burger King, KFC, and The NBA.
