In a poll conducted by The Harvard Institute of Silly Surveys That Waste Government Money But Provide Work For Tenured Professors, Lazy Students and ACORN Workers, Anal Seepage was voted "The Least Favorite Thing To Find In A Chair." The study fo...
ACORN, the admitted brownshirts of the Obama administration, has adopted a song from rock group Pink Floyd as the new theme song for the Democratic Party and their underprivileged, economically challenged, handout receiving masses. Their new theme so...
Last week, BP agreed to provide a $20 billion aid fund to assist victims of the oil spill. The money is earmarked to help persons whose homes, businesses, livelihood, or property have been destroyed, damaged, or harmed as a result of the spill (dire...
NEW ORLEANS - The Association of Community Organizations For Reform Now, aka ACORN has announced that they are on the verge of bankruptcy. A spokesperson, who wanted to remain nameless but said that we could use the name Leroy, said that she has s...
ACORN, the controversial advocacy group made infamous for giving financial advice to a pimp and his hooker (who were actually reporters in cognito) is changing its name. ACORN leadership, anxious to get past the controversies that have surrounded...
The Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to Barack Obama, President of the United States. The announcement was greeting with questioning and concern around the world as people did not understand how he helped to bring peace anywhere. After a quick inter...
ALAMEEDA, AK (ABSNN) -- A Crocashit News Network reporter, dressed in gorilla costume, entered the Alameeda, Arkansas chapter of ACORN Wednesday evening, posing as a teenaged prostitute, and asked ACORN employees how to acquire federal housing fundin...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - House Democrats voted with Republicans Thursday, hoping to silence once and for all conservative complaints about the nationwide community organizing group ACORN that is "no more nor less corrupt" than virtually any other organizat...
New York, New York - ACORN announced today that it was entering the airline business with an eye towards competing over lucrative Caribbean drug routes. The move caught industry insiders by surprise and sent them scrambling to adjust their stock port...
Introduction: Offering Illegal Advice 1. Our job is to offer advice to government applicants so they are better able to utilize every service available even if it may not apply to them or be illegal. 2. We compiled the best advice available from top legal minds, Obama's best work as a lawyer was done here at ACORN (!), to use in order to help circumvent unfair government regulations. 3. R...
Faced with mounting evidence that ACORN employees all over the country have been using their positions to further tax evasion, smuggling, child slavery, encouraging prostitution rings, and not turning off the lights when leaving the room, the executi...
Washington, DC/ News from the Frugal Shopper - In a show of moral support for recently disenfranchised ACORN workers, those laid off wholesale as Congress cut off billions of funding due to corruption, fraud and downright stupidity, First Lady Michel...
While the Executive, Legislative, and Judicial branches of government has sufficed for over 200 years, President Barack Obama has created a fourth branch to deal with the civilization and society of the modern world. Said Obama, "back when the found...
President Barack Obama's scheduled speech to the nation's school children, scheduled for September 8th, will introduce his new national youth program. The group, called The Obama Youth For Change, will be open to all school age children and will inv...
For many years, the United States Military dealt with homosexuals and other perverts with a policy of "don't ask, don't tell." Soldiers were to keep their non-normal sexual orientations and desires to themselves and not discuss these. With the Ob...
Barack Obama, the popular President of the United States, forced the United Nations to appoint Oprah Winfrey as Secretary General. Ban Ki-Moon, current holder of the position, voluntarily stepped down from the office due to the group of ACORN stormt...
HOLLYWOOD - MGM has just signed Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox to star in the new film Children of The ACORN. Jolie and Fox will portray twin sisters Bobbi Jo and Jo Bobbi Labiabeaux who grew up in the poorest neighborhood in New Orleans known as T...
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