American Idol: Cyrstal Bowersox Knocks The 'Sox' Off Of The Other Seven Girls

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 11 March 2010

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image for American Idol: Cyrstal Bowersox Knocks The 'Sox' Off Of The Other Seven Girls
Crystal Bowersox's guitar which she has named "Woody Peckerwood"

HOLLYWOOD - After the top eight girls had performed and each had put down her American Idol microphone one girl clearly stood out.

And to use Simon Cowell's favorite saying, she stood out Head and Shoulders Shampoo above all of the other seven girls.

Crystal Bowersox, who is a throw back to some of the girl singers of the 60s, especially the hard rockin' gal from Beaumont, Texas, Janis Joplin, certainly appears to be the best of all of the female singers by far.

Twenty-four-year-old Bowersox is a very talented singer, guitar player, and juggler. During her audition back in the summer of 09, Crystal played the song "California Dreaming" by The Mamas and The Papas, while playing the guitar with her top teeth, and while juggling a pineapple, a basketball, and an unloaded Glock 9 handgun all at the same time.

She truly impressed all of the judges especially Randy who said, "Yo dude, let me say, being from da ghetto I have seen da brutha's and even some of da sista's juggle shit like do rags, cheap bling bling, and a single serving of cornbread, but dude, check it out, I ain't never seen anyone juggle a pineapple, a basketball, and a Glock 9 before. Yo bro, I got's ta give ya props fa dat. And there wasn't nuthin' pitchy about dat at all dude."

Simon simply asked, "Are you perchance related to Janis Joplin...dude?"

Kara stood up, clapped, and said that she has seen lots of guys juggle their balls before, but after a while they all put their underwear and pants back on and continued with their date, but the Bowersox bit of juggling was really and truly juggling.

In a related story. Oprah Winfrey has remarked that the Bowersox girl is "Sho nuff one damn good little white singin' chick. All da little honkie be needin' ta do is ta gets herself a lil bit of sun dat be all."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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