Written by Skoob1999

Tuesday, 23 February 2010

image for Cheryl Cole Arrives Back In UK To Fierce Criticism
Sarah Harding Arrives At Heathrow Hoping To Be Spoofed.

Cheryl Cole, who by now surely needs no introduction, arrived back at Heathrow this morning, where it became quickly apparent that not everybody in this country stands by her as she endures a very public marital crisis.

Still reeling from revelations that husband, Chelsea and England soccer star Ashley has been "a bit of a boyo" Cheryl has responded in a manner hailed by many observers as 'dignified.'

Many, but not by any means all.

A small but very vocal group, congregated outside a 'Tie Rack' outlet, booed and jeered as Cole was whisked through airport security to a waiting limo, even though they never actually saw her in the flesh.

The unnamed group consider that Cheryl Cole has been playing the media with her Princess Diana type 'poor little girl scorned' tactics, and that her solidly maintained silence regarding her marital status has served only to fan the flames of speculation.

"She knows exactly what she's doing," one protester told us. "She's milking this situation for all it's worth. And as far as her suffering in silence and being in emotional turmoil, I'm sorry, but we just don't buy that. Cheryl Cole is a piece of work all right. She's said more by not speaking than she ever could by exercising her vocal cords."

"That's right," another protester, seemingly part of a double act quipped. "She insisted on performing at the Brit Awards and lip-synched so badly that it made the whole world sit up and take notice, not forgetting to show the cameras her left hand at every opportunity to emphasise the fact that she wasn't wearing her wedding ring. Then she flies out to LA - not the easiest place in the world to avoid media attention - and goes out partying it up and making a point of being seen with that dancer geezer, Derek Hough, and going out running with him. These aren't the actions of a woman scorned."

"Too right mate," our original interviewee added. "These are the actions of a woman intent on boosting her own popularity, raising her public profile, and of taking Ashley to the f**king cleaners in the divorce courts. Ashley may be a t**t. He probably is, but more importantly, he's a right mug. He's played right into her hands with all this."

Sarah Harding, Cheryl Cole's 'Girls Aloud' bandmate was not Spoofed in any way during the course of this article, and Cheryl Cole is still only 5'3"

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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