DULUTH, Minnesota - The town at the mouth of Lake Superior, which is known as 'The Douche Bag Capital of The World,' because it manufactures more douche bags than any other city has just released the winner of its annual 'Douche Bag Of The Year' award.
This year there were a total of ten entries. And for the first time in the contest's 27 year history there was a four way tie for first place.
Seventh place went to P. Diddy simply for being a friend of the extremely arrogant Kanye West.
Sixth place went to Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina, who helped improve relations between the United States and Argentina (no pun intended); but in the meantime destroyed his marriage.
Fifth place went to singer John Mayer for about 17 different reasons including bigotry, racism, feminism, and sardine worshipping.
And tying for the coveted first place were Senator John "Don't Anyone Touch My Hair" Edwards of North Carolina, for telling the National Enquirer that they were wrong about him having an affair with one of his staff members; the skanky dishwater blonde with the video camera.
Kanye West tied for being the most arrogant man, black or white category, to ever go up on stage and make a complete and total monkey's ass of himself.
As everyone knows by now Kanye Pest grabbed the microphone out of the hands of sweet little innocent country music singer Taylor Swift and then proceeded to rant and rave in some kind of hip-hoppin' rip-rappin' ridiculous rant about Beyonce having bigger tits than Taylor (well duh dude!).
Jon Gosselin tied for being the most messed up Korean since Kim Jong Il. He also is being honored for having one of the smallest wieners (wienies) in America, even smaller than the one possessed by Richard Simmons, according to very reliable sources.
And the fourth man to tie for first place is Chris Brown. Crissy, as his mommy calls him, showed that the brotha just did not have a lick of sense. There he was, the only dude, fella, guy, bro, hombre, etc. that was tip-tappin' on Rihanna's bikini burger, and he went and blew it (NPI) by acting like the ex-Mr. Whitney Houston, Bobby Brown, but only younger, taller, and not as pompously arrogant.
SIDENOTE: Since none of the winners chose to attend the award ceremony their awards "The Doochies" will be sent to them via UPS.