Jon Gosselin, Kanye West, John Edwards, and Chris Brown Tie For The Title "Douche Bag of The Year"

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 21 February 2010

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Jon Gosselin, Kanye West, John Edwards, and Chris Brown Tie For The Title "Douche Bag of The Year"
The 2010 Douche Bag of The Year Award ceremonies were held at The Rush Limbaugh Community Center in downtown Duluth.

DULUTH, Minnesota - The town at the mouth of Lake Superior, which is known as 'The Douche Bag Capital of The World,' because it manufactures more douche bags than any other city has just released the winner of its annual 'Douche Bag Of The Year' award.

This year there were a total of ten entries. And for the first time in the contest's 27 year history there was a four way tie for first place.

Seventh place went to P. Diddy simply for being a friend of the extremely arrogant Kanye West.

Sixth place went to Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina, who helped improve relations between the United States and Argentina (no pun intended); but in the meantime destroyed his marriage.

Fifth place went to singer John Mayer for about 17 different reasons including bigotry, racism, feminism, and sardine worshipping.

And tying for the coveted first place were Senator John "Don't Anyone Touch My Hair" Edwards of North Carolina, for telling the National Enquirer that they were wrong about him having an affair with one of his staff members; the skanky dishwater blonde with the video camera.

Kanye West tied for being the most arrogant man, black or white category, to ever go up on stage and make a complete and total monkey's ass of himself.

As everyone knows by now Kanye Pest grabbed the microphone out of the hands of sweet little innocent country music singer Taylor Swift and then proceeded to rant and rave in some kind of hip-hoppin' rip-rappin' ridiculous rant about Beyonce having bigger tits than Taylor (well duh dude!).

Jon Gosselin tied for being the most messed up Korean since Kim Jong Il. He also is being honored for having one of the smallest wieners (wienies) in America, even smaller than the one possessed by Richard Simmons, according to very reliable sources.

And the fourth man to tie for first place is Chris Brown. Crissy, as his mommy calls him, showed that the brotha just did not have a lick of sense. There he was, the only dude, fella, guy, bro, hombre, etc. that was tip-tappin' on Rihanna's bikini burger, and he went and blew it (NPI) by acting like the ex-Mr. Whitney Houston, Bobby Brown, but only younger, taller, and not as pompously arrogant.

SIDENOTE: Since none of the winners chose to attend the award ceremony their awards "The Doochies" will be sent to them via UPS.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more