Chris Brown Nears End of Probation and Ready to Move On

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Friday, 19 February 2010


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Brown, set to return to the recording studio, same attitude in hand.

Los Angeles County Circuit Court reviewed what it called a "clean report card" on Chris Brown's behavior this week, while Brown nears the end of his probation. Speaking to reporters after the update hearing, Brown indicated he was ready to "move on", in fact already making plans to hit the recording studio with a new set of lyrics.

Brown's personal assistant and friend, Buster Cheeks, tells reporters, "My boy has been nothing but Mr. Clean these days, and he's ready to rock the mic in studio as soon as we get out of proby. Yeah". Promoters were glad to hear that Brown had been working on new tracks while in seclusion, and were ready to put the marketing machine in motion. Punk Ass Records producer, Hyrum Anfyrum says, "We're clearing out the studio for Chris, mostly because he travels with a 30 man crew, but also to make sure there are no altercations with our female artists."

Cheeks apparently disagrees with Anfyrum's assessment of the situation. "I disagree with Anfyrum's assessment of the situation", says Cheeks. "CB is ready to go man. He is the consulate, the consultant, you know, the consummate professional". (The Spoof editorial staff corrected the aforementioned spelling).

Scheduled to start recording sessions in May, Brown's promoters have leaked the titles of five new tracks to the press in an attempt to build up some early buzz about the CD. New songs will include, but have nothing to Rihanna:

"I'm gonna smack my bitch up"
"Baby I love you, now get out of my house"
"You keep eyeballing me boy, and see what up"
"I got the Gin on ice and my foot up your ass"
"Baby, I'm completely harmless"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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