A 3.7 Magnitude Earthquake Hits The L.A. Area - Kirstie Alley Says She Didn't Feel A Thing

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 20 February 2010

image for A 3.7 Magnitude Earthquake Hits The L.A. Area - Kirstie Alley Says She Didn't Feel A Thing
Residents of Arkansas have a different way of hitting the pinata.

LOS ANGELES - A 3.7 magnitude earthquake struck Los Angeles at about 12:39 p.m. LCT (Left Coast Time). There were reports of minor damages such as the usual broke salt shakers and pepper shakers along with light bulbs popping out of front and back porch lighting fixtures.

One long time businessman, Alfonso Empanizado owner of Latin Al's Pinata Shop in La Habra stated that the 3.7 earthquake caused several of his pinatas to fall off the top shelf and break.

Mr. Empanizado said that all of the broken pinatas were of the highly obnoxious comedian Andy Dick, which had been sitting on the top shelf since last June.

He noted that Andy Dick pinatas are the worst selling pinatas in the history of pinatas. He then said that the number two worst seller is the Dick Cheney pinata.

Latin Al was told that it would seem that a lot of people would like to buy a pinata in the likeness of Dick Cheney so that they could then proceed to knock the hell out of it with the pinata stick.

But Empy, as his white girlfriend calls him, pointed out, the Andy Dick pinata and the Dick Cheney pinata are both so ugly that they literally scare the hell out of little kids, old women, and gays.

And speaking of overweight actresses, Kirstie Alley reportedly told her seamstress, Loretta of Laguna Beach that she was in her backyard sunbathing when the 3.7 earthquake hit and she did not feel a thing.

For more information on how you can purchase pinatas through the Internet log on to www.thelandofpinatas.olé

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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