Haitian Earthquake Victim Admits "I Felt The Earth Move, And I Wasn't Even Putting Out"

Funny story written by Throckmorton Turdblossom

Wednesday, 17 February 2010

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It wouldn't take much to keep this woman happy

An earthquake victim in Haiti admitted that she felt the earth move during the earthquake, but says that it was not due to a sexual encounter.

Marie DuBois said something nearly incomprehensible in French, that was translated as "I felt the ground shaking and the bed bouncing underneath me and realized that my husband wasn't there. It was a strange feeling and I won't quite have it again, since my mattress and house were destroyed."

"I was lying on one of those army cots when the aftershocks hit, but it just wasn't as strong of a sensation, even when I tried touching myself."

DuBois is attempting to move to Los Angeles, if she can find a person to sponsor her in resident alien status. "I'm willing to be a maid there, because they have more earthquakes than anywhere else in the world. All I ask are occasional minor tremors and a squeaky, bouncy mattress and I'll cook, clean, or work in a stinky sweatshop."

"The higher the Richter scale number, the better the orgasm."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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