He's the frisky Family Fortunes presenter who has been caught exchanging texts with some wannabe WAGs.
So in true Family Fortunes style, I asked 100 people what kind of texts they'd send to Vernon Kay if they were given his mobile phone number.
The most obvious answer would of course be abuse. For example 'Vernon, you are an annoying, lanky, streak of piss, Northern twat.'
But what did the 100 people I questioned say?
Our survey said:
85
Ooh. That's a surprise. You'd expect the answer to be all 100 people but you never can tell what answers the general public will come up with.
So the opposite of abusing Vernon would be to compliment him. For example 'Vernon, you're the funniest, most original, talented, games show host who has ever been on TV.'
Our survey said:
X
That's a big fat zero then. Unlucky Vernon. All of the people I questioned really had nothing good to say about you.
How about wanting to know if 'his missus takes it up the wrong'un'? This could also be a form of abuse but for the purpose of this survey we'll call it asking about the family's well-being.
Our survey said:
10
Look out Vernon. You'd better start behaving yourself otherwise there's a queue of ten people just waiting to show your other half what she's been missing whilst you've been busy with work commitments.
Final guess please. Of course. Naughty or sex texts?
Our survey said:
5
Not sure if they misheard the question and thought we said Peter Kay but when they do send you texts, make sure your phone's on silent this time so Tess doesn't get suspicious again.
