Alex Reid And Katie Price Rubbish Malicious Divorce Rumours

Written by Skoob1999

Monday, 8 February 2010

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Divorce? We Just Got married You Muppet!

Alex 'Rocky' Reid, the man who gets a buzz out of dressing up in women's clothing and fighting in enclosed areas (I'm not allowed to call him a cross dressing cage fighter any more, oh...wait...forget I said that) and Katie 'Jordan' Price, the horse riding glamour girl with the biggest gob in the business, not to mention a belting big pair of bouncing bazookas, today rubbished press reports that they were to divorce after only five days of marriage.

"It's all bollocks is that," a friend of the couple told me. "They're doing fine. they have their ups and downs just like any other married couple. It's just that theirs tend to be a little more...intense."

The rumour mill went into overdrive while the couple honeymooned in Las Vegas, with reports that Jordan was showing off and being a bitch-diva because she thought her new husband was getting too much press attention. Which may have had some seed of truth, because Alex was acting like such a puppy dog that everyone just wanted to pat him on the head.

A close friend of Reid's admitted that the CBB winner and newly converted member of the Baldwinian religious cult had suffered a few tongue lashings (ooh-er-Missus!) from his new bride, and conceded that Reid may have mentioned a divorce during the course of a heated argument, but added that he wasn't serious about it.

Upon hearing the news, Peter Andre, Gordon Brown and Alistair Campbell inexplicably burst into tears, Tiger Woods kissed the eighteenth hole, and a lonely John Terry ordered another takeaway meal because his wife was busy shopping in Dubai.

Alex 'Rocky' Reid's close friend, Vinnie Jones told me:

"He's a proper numpty innee! What a prat! Still, you can't tell him. Unless you're Stephen Baldwin with a bible."

The happy couple have requested ten minutes of privacy together, scheduled for August 18th 2011, when they are hoping to be left alone by the media.

More as I get it. Which isn't as often as I'd like!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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