Every year, network commentators on the Red Carpet at the Academy Awards broadcasts question all of the women about the designers of their dresses, shoes, and jewelry. The actresses all brag about their one of a kind clothing and accessories from notable fashion houses.
This year, an additional item of accessorizing will be revealed and discussed: the designer Brazilian Bikini Wax.
Long time Red Carpet interviewer Joan Rivers said that "no more will women have to say that they did it in the bathtub with their husbands razor, or that it was that Mexican lady at the beauty shop or spa. From now on, our starlets will be able to tell everyone who cut their hair, if you know what I mean."
"For example, as nominee Amy Adams exits her limo, she will spread her legs wide so that everyone can see her shaving. Someone like me will then comment on the cleanness of the lines and the smoothness of the cut and inform everyone of the stylist responsible."
Network executives believe that this may be the most watched Oscar telecast pre-show and are scrambling for ways to increase profits. Commercials, for example, will cost slightly more for this telecast than for the Super Bowl.
When asked to explain why, Joan said that "everyone wants to see the stars. Playboy proved that everyone wants to see them naked, Britney Spears proved that everyone wants to see them shaved, and this is just the logical progression."
There is no confirmation yet on whether Mr. Black will issue a ten best/worst shaven list to go along with his famous best dressed/worst dressed list.
