London man, Big Johnny Johnson, the man with a really large penis today admitted that he could never realistically hope to compete with the people on satirical website TheSpoof.com.
For some time now, the website has played host to a United States citizen, a native of New Jersey (Union City to be precise) who has long been known to be the proud possessor of the world's largest penis.
Big Johnny Johnson has finally admitted that he can't compete:
"How do you compete with Bargis?" he asked us. "And it's not just him. People reckon the world's most interesting man, Fernando Monte Verde is hung like a horse too. I've got a rather large one - put it this way, you wouldn't want it growing off the end of your nose - but I can't compete with those Spoof people. I mean, they had one bloke on there who popped his cock through the roof of the Pantheon in Rome. For me it's just a lose-lose situation."
The World's Most Interesting Man, Fernando Monte Verde, smoking a sardine on his yacht, told us:
"Hey yo. They come they go. Of course these guys can't compete wid da likes of me and Bargis. We swing like nobody else I ever met. We wear shoes too. And nice suits. And shoits. It's all about having class. It's where it's at bro. Fuck all dese five and dimers."
"See what I mean man innit?" Big Johnny Johnson sobbed. "Me bin outclarsed by dem Yanks again innit."
In related news, the British have finally responded angrily to the Boston Tea Party by throwing thousands of Big Macs into Saint Katherine's Dock in London.
With thanks to Bargis, Abel, and CJ for the inside information.
More as we get it.
