Susan Boyle Raving At The Airlines Again

Written by Bureau

Saturday, 19 December 2009

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Upon reaching London from the United States where she was a smash hit and having a new bestselling album, you'd think that Susan Boyle would be happy wouldn't you?

But no. She hates the airlines once again and doesn't hold back in her criticism.

"They should ban obese people (notice she avoided her own 'fat' condition) who take up all your room and ten crying babies!"

Boyle went on to say that the fat ass that sat beside her should have had to pay for two seats and sat on them with the arm rest up her ass!

"She needed something to stop the constant roar of passed gas! Those oxygen masks over our section fell so many times that they finally taped them up there, except for mine. No way was I breathing that stuff."

And the babies?

"Crapped and cried and crapped and cried all the way to London. Moms up and down. Going to the back carrying the wee ones and a line of baby shit marking the way back there in case you got lost. Only funny thing was one going on fat ass as it was carried by."

"Before I got to London, I thought she was going to spill over into MY lap. One big sneeze and I nearly flew out the side of the plane!"

So Susan started to waddle away from our reporter, but she turned and came back.

"I know what they need. They need these special garments for people to wear on the plane that are tight enough for the wearer's ass to be sized down. Sort of like an ass girdle. If they can't fit, they must acquit...them of their plane ticket!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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