Rolling Stones Drop Ron Wood for Ronnie Montrose

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Friday, 4 December 2009


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Rolling Stones Drop Ron Wood for Ronnie Montrose
The guitar is the same but the head has changed.

Fed up with Wood's recently reported marital and legal troubles, the Rolling Stones have taken courses of action to separate themselves from Wood before the start of the new ablum and international tour.

Front man Mick Jagger, could not be reached for comment, but a spokesman for the band says they have been in active negotiations with former Edgar Winter, Van Morrison and Herbie Hancock lead guitarist, Ronnie Montrose.

"Well, he fits the bill perfectly as a lead guitarist for the Rolling Stones. He's old, wrinkled, stumbles a bit, but can still wail on the six-string", says Stones promoter, Noel Harelyne. "He looks like an experienced rocker, but won't steal the spotlight from Mick."

Though band members are trying to soften the news of the transition, insiders to the band's management team are just happy that Montrose doesn't have any current legal trouble. "Most importantly", says Harelyne, "We won't have to make too many changes on the pending album cover, front or back". Harelyne held up photo proofs of the new cover to show where Montrose's head was superimposed on Woods body, and the last names were changed on the inside CD page.

Cornered on the streets of London this past Thursday, Jagger was asked how he felt about the replacement of Woods for Montrose. Jagger paused a bit then said, "Well, you can't always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need". Pushing for more comments one Paparazzi asked, "Are you talking about the band or Wood?". Jagger replied, "Both really, now Sod off."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more