Written by Roy Turse

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

image for Cheryl Cole to Mime her Comments on X-Factor
Cheryl checks her props for the show

X-Factor contestants have to sing live, but it has been revealed that Cheryl Cole will pre-record her comments on their acts and then mime them during the show. Even her banter with the other judges will be mimed so she can get her facial expressions just right without having to say the words out loud.

She let slip that she had also mimed on the Chris Moyles radio show yesterday. It seems she had asked Chris for a list of questions on Sunday, and then recorded her answers on her i-Phone the night before the show. "I'm not very good in the mornings," she told us, "so it's easier to mime my interviews."

After the show she was met by a mob of fans as she left the studio. One fan told us: "I asked her for an autograph and she came over to sign for me. She didn't have a pen, though, so although she acted it out there was no autograph there. Then a minder came over with a rubber stamp and stamped everyone's autograph books.

Cheryl was unrepentant, and suggested it was not unusual in the industry. "I'm a recording artist - so recording is my forte," a loudspeaker informed me, as Cheryl pouted and acted indignant.

Later this year Cheryl's voice will be heard by hundreds of thousands of people on her whistle-stop UK tour. As we went to press, she hadn't decided whether to attend the performances or not.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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