Conan O'Brien, Jay Leno, Craig Ferguson, Jimmy Kimmel All Announce Affairs

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Wednesday, 14 October 2009

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image for Conan O'Brien, Jay Leno, Craig Ferguson, Jimmy Kimmel All Announce Affairs
Lone Viewer Hears Confession #17

Craig Ferguson became the fourth late night host this week that has confessed to having an affair with most of the women on the show including Leno's "also with half the audience on a cold January night."

After David Letterman's confession a couple of weeks back brought his audience ratings up almost ten percent, at least for the week's shows, it's confession time on Late Night TV.

"Once, I ran over a squirrel", stated a tearful Leno. "It was bad enough having twenty affairs in one month, but on the way home after one bad night when two different ones never showed up, I was all tightened up and there sat that squirrel by a tree like he owned the park and I drove in there after him. He was on soft ground and wasn't hurt. But still, the RAGE WAS THERE!"

"That's nothing", stated Kimmel, "I pulled a whale onto the shore in California and left it stranded. I was determined to call up one of our ladies and have sex on the top of that poor dying beast, but it flipped back out into the water and was soon gone...most likely looking for a mate."

However, what none of the show's director's figured on was that there was no one watching any of these shows. They were still watching Letterman or over at the bar discussing him and his antics.

This week, all five shows are down in the ratings. Guess it only worked for Letterman, and even there only for the one week.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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