Larry Craig to Advise Clinton on How to Deny Losing Race

Funny story written by Anthony J Nowak

Wednesday, 4 June 2008


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Senator Hillary Clinton reached across party lines today and enlisted the help of GOP Senator Larry Craig as a political consultant to advise her on how to deny losing the Democratic primary race to Barrack Obama.

Senator Larry Craig of Idaho achieved infamous notary when last year he was arrested and charged with committing an indecent act after he allegedly solicited an undercover male police officer for sex in a Minnesota airport bathroom. Senator Craig later vehemently denied being the allegations or being a homosexual.

One source familiar with the Clinton discussions, who spoke on condition of anonymity due to the sensitive nature of the ongoing talks, offered some incite into what to expect from the upcoming press release. "Look for something along the lines of, 'I have not lost, and I never will lose, the race for democratic nominee of President of the United States of America'", the anonymous source stated.

As speculation abounded once news of the strange partnership broke, Clinton insiders immediately sought to temper media reports of the new democratic/republican alliance. "While the GOP and the Dems don't always see eye to eye, it's also not unusual for them to work together to resolve disputes critical to the interests of our great nation," said Terry McAuliffe, chairman of the Hillary Rodham Clinton campaign. "Voters recognize her ability to reach across party lines like this, which is why she won the nomination in the first place, and why she is going to make an excellent president next January."

Barack Obama's campaign was unusually quiet on the topic when questioned by reporters. "This is par for the course for Senator Clinton," stated David Plouffe, Barack Obama's campaign manager. "We have changed focus from the democratic nomination process to the general election. We have moved on. We suggest she do the same," he said.

Mr. McAuliffe was quick to fire back. "Sounds like somebody is a sore loser," he elaborated. "Fortunately for Mr. Obama, we won't hold things like this against him personally, and in fact will welcome him back into the fold with some sort of minute role - maybe even a staff position - once we win back the White House in November."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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