Written by Bureau

Friday, 17 July 2009

image for Adam Lambert Is A Woman!

The Hollywood press has been the most active since Michael Jackson's death three weeks ago! That was after Adam Lambert laughingly joked that he was a woman. "Then began singing Bob Dylan's "Just Like A Woman"..."but I break just like a little girl", he crooned.

At the time, reporters mostly passed it off as a jovial attempt to cover for his nerves .

But others took him seriously and began digging into Lambert's past and all the records they could find. Then, before they revealed what they had found, Lambert preempted their findings by confessing, yes he's a woman.

Adam Lambert was born in Orlando, Florida as Alberta Adams. From an early age, Alberta showed an interest in singing and performing, sometimes in men's apparel. After her parents were killed in an auto accident, at the age of seven she was sent to live with an elderly aunt and since this aunt was nearly gaga, Alberta dressed herself up as a seven-year-old male.

His aunt, Holly by name, had been around show business all her life and, even though a bit dotty, loved to join in on her great nephew's practice performances.

By the age of 14, Albert, now Adam Lambert, went to live with still more distant relatives, had some fake papers made and has been Adam Lambert ever since.

"It wasn't all that hard. I legally had my name changed. I thought I was safe, but there's just too much stuff you can search out on the internet these days."

"Well, I'm STILL Adam Lambert and now I got that load off my back, I think my real fans and friends will stay by me. And NO, I have had no surgeries. My breasts are naturally small probably because I work out so much."

I agree. Also, there just might be a great movie here!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Adam Lambert




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