Authorities in California, with the cooperation and assistance of the F.B.I. (Federal Bureau of Investigation) have discovered that Michael Jackson faked his death. In truth, the King of Pop is still alive and has been living under the name and identity of Adam Lambert.
Even though Jackson had announced a comeback tour to kick off in Europe, this was just a cover, say police, for his real transformation.
Officer Jason Riggers of the Hollywood Police said that "they apparently finally got the skin dying and the nose job and the hair straightening right in the surgeries. Michael Jackson is Adam Lambert."
As further evidence, he offered up the dress ("both like black and strange"), the voice ("both love to squeal"), the sexually confused lifestyle ("do I really need to comment on that one?), and the fact that people scream when they see them ("why do little girls fall in love with men who only want little boys?").
Lambert/Jackson has been taken to a Southern California mental hospital for evaluation and treatment. Further news will be released as it develops.
Plans for the Jackson funeral, however, have been put on hold.