The legendary Mothman, a winged creature with glowing red eyes, revealed to the computer liberace that he would begin publishing a blog on TheSpoof.com.
Mothman, a Point Pleasant, West Virginia native, and legend, credited Mrs. Mary Baker, his 2nd grade teacher from Chamberlain Grade School, with encouraging him to write about himself.
"Were it not for Mrs. Baker, I never would have finished grade school. Because I was such a "monster," I was held back one year and forced to repeat the second grade. I wanted to quit," he said as a tear ran down his reptilian face. "But she wouldn't let me. She helped me get through a very trying time," said Mothman.
"After I completed the Marshall University Graduate School in Charleston, I decided to become a school mascot. I ran into difficulty straight away, since there weren't any schools with a moth mascot," he told reporters. "Writing a blog came to me one night as I read a fellow Marshall student's blog, "The Thundering Nerds."
Mothman promises to "put the record straight" about his lack of participation in the destruction of the Silver Bridge in the mid-sixties. "I was in town," he said. "I was seen near the bridge just before the bridge fell into the Ohio River. But I had absolutely nothing to do with the collapse of that bridge."
To help gather a readership for his new effort, Mothman approved an intense advertising campaign that started last week. In addition to Mothman tee-shirts, sports bras and coffee cups, hair and toenail samples, Mothman pencil and pen sets will be sold to the public.
"You can bet these products are not some cheap Oriental garbage either. This stuff was produced by a sweat shop in Costa Rica," he concluded.