Fawkes v Draper: Big Fight Date Announced

Written by Dungeekin

Friday, 27 March 2009

A date has now been set for the upcoming no-holds-barred 'cage match' between political bloggers Guido Fawkes and Derek Draper.

Following a spirited (yet ultimately disappointing) combined Press Conference and weigh-in, when both combatants landed some dainty bitchslaps but failed to provide a knockout blow, the UFC-style fight is to be held next Saturday night in the O2 Arena.

Undefeated Heavyweight Champion Fawkes will take on light-arseweight Draper in the long-awaited grudge match, styled the 'Battle of the Handbags'. In standard cage-match rules, the only things banned will be biting, gouging, kicking to the groin or mentioning Dolly Draper's educational qualifications.

Speaking from his training camp at the local pub, Fawkes said, "I've been waiting for this match for years. Bring it on. He's going down hard". Fawkes has reportedly put together a top coaching team including Geoffrey 'Slugger' Howe, Michael 'Slasher' Heseltine and 'Sugar Ray' Tebbit, all masters of delivering a good kicking to political figures.

Draper also welcomed the bout, saying, "I could do with the payout, to be frank, it'll help cover Kate's tax bill". He added, "I've been doing some special training exercises with Peter Mandelson, and while they've left me a little bit sore I'm confident I'll scratch Guido's eyes out".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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