Lindsay Lohan topless pictures reveal gem implants

Funny story written by Roy Turse

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

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Pictures posted by Lindsay Lohan on her Twitter page show her naked from the waist up with only her long blonde hair covering her modesty. However, an eagle-eyed detective investigating an alleged gem theft has discovered what he claims are diamonds implanted under the skin in her chest area.

Detective Sam Droole claims that although Lindsay has been exonerated in the case of £250,000 of jewelry missing after a recent photo-shoot, he felt it was 'part of his job' to closely scan the topless pictures using a magnifying glass.

"As part of my investigations I was trying to determine if there was anything suspicious about Miss Lohan's chest. After several hours of exhaustive examination I noticed a number of strange surface markings, and when I re-scanned the images and sent them to the FBI they agreed with my theory."

Detective Droole could not offer any explanation as to why Miss Lohan would want to have gems implanted in this way. "I don't know if it is some new fashion," he said, "but if anybody knows of anyone else having a similar procedure, perhaps they could let the authorities know."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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