CALABASAS - Jessica Simpson was privately ravaging her large stack of hotcakes Saturday night in a Calabasas International House of Pancakes when a band of grungy boys thought she was Beth Smith Chapman, a.k.a Dog's Bounty huntin' God fearin' ball and chain!
They screamed and pounded their fists demanding "Dog, Dog, Dog! Jessica choked on her bacon apparently in fear of the black-clad dubious looking crowd.
Fearing the worst, a waitress performed the Heimlich on the singer only to have her dribble out syrup and bacon bits.
"It was a really sad sight but also just like gross, Jessica is really fat" claims Mandy Malaney who was working that night. Jessica reportedly was burbling "I'm still the pretty one," and "I have cute farts and eat ribeye."
The buxom blonde has been repeatedly harrassed lately for autographs from people thinking she is Beth, much to the good ol' boy snickerings of DOG The Bounty Hunter who claims "haaaa, well, I'd have both em' on my platter."
Jessica reportedly claims she doesn't know who Beth is but then replied "Momma didn't raise a fool, he got enough dough?"