Written by Madame Bitters

Sunday, 26 April 2009

image for Bea Arthur to be the New Voice of God!
No pictures were available of the megaphone Bea will use to make God's will known. This trumpet will have to do.

Bea Arthur, the tall, somewhat masculine actress best known for her roles on Maude and Golden Girls died today at the age of 86.

However, the deceased actress is still getting work. Rumor has it that Bea has a new gig as The Voice of God.

Arthur's deep timbre voice won her a Tony award years ago in Mame and has since been deemed suitable to communicate the Almighty's commands. Her career in theatrics and television are huge assests for this unique voice-over job.

God's target audience for centuries has been children in Italy and the mentally ill worldwide, but Bea's resonant voice of reason may be able to reach more (sane) people.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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