Jennifer Lopez, Marc Anthony, Julius Caesar, Brutus etc sue for damages

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 18 April 2007

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Pure as the driven snow...

Hollywood - (Ass Mess): Movie actress Jennifer Lopez and a whole array of ancient Roman heavyweights are suing the National Enquirer over drug smears and are taking their fight to European courts in London, Paris, Rome, Belfast, Dublin and the tiny Irish principality of Shergar.

The gladiatorial move agaist the US journal is in response to published reports of 12 March linking them to a subsequent Ides (15th) of March druggy bingefest that alleged somebody would 'stab them in the back' and snitch on their cocaine and skunk use.

Lopez has hired Belfast lawyer Paul Weed who specialises in getting dimwit American starlets off the hook in narcotics and depravity cases that most other attorneys 'wouldn't touch with a barge pole'.

He told the Irish press that Lopez, Anthony & Co were seeking "substantial damages", as well as a complete retraction and apology over allegations that they are "two stoned B-movie has-beens who owe their careers to the Hollywood narcotics industry".

The lawsuit will be heard in the Forum.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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