Written by Roy Turse

Monday, 20 April 2009

image for Shaheen Jafargholi emerges as a 'surprise' contender for Britain's Got Talent
This week's 'surprise'

A 'surprise' contender for the Britain's Got Talent favourite has emerged following the huge publicity that was created by Susan Boyle last week.

Shaheen Jafargholi, a young Welsh lad, was chosen as this week's surprise as a way of keeping the press and public interest going.

Simon Cowell interrupted the young singer, who was part way through a rendition of Motorhead's 'The Ace of Spades' sung in a comic baritone voice. "You can sing the proper song now; like we rehearsed," said Cowell, and the young singer began again.

This time he belted out a crowd-pleasing song in a style that suited his voice and everybody was amazed, apart from Simon Cowell who was 'amazed'.

Insiders on the show say there is a similar act lined up for each of the heats.

"We realised the potential after the Paul Potts thing, and decided that as well as the selection of embarrassing no-hopers in each heat, we also needed a 'surprise' contender. We have been feeding susan up over the last six months and Shaheen has been a professional Michael Jackson impersonator for several years."

"Next week we have a contestant who comes on in a wheelchair and starts off playing Moon River on the kazoo. Simon jumps up on stage, takes the calipers off his legs and throws the kazoo away. The young man then stands up and performs an impromptue but immaculately-coreographed dance routine that's part street-style and part Cossack dance with back flips. The crowd goes wild and nobody is more 'surprised' than Simon."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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