Pop star, slightly faded, two previous owners, needs new home. Has own underwear and make-up, will only sing when you are out of the house.
Can dance, but please do not allow to try and act. Or sing. No children, but will accept yours as her own, as long as they're not normal American ones that make for no publicity.
Has all own teeth and hair, will help housewife when husband isn't about, to justify her position. Or positions. Good with her fingers, though not keen on cleaning.
Will pay for own room, as has nighttime job as stripper and pole dancer. Please phone Miss Madge Mahogany on Malawi 65,000, or leave message on answering machine.
No time wasters, no Protestants, Africans especially desired. African housewives exceptionally desired. Thank you.