Jade Goody, Britain's favourite racist, has been told by the Queen, that she is in line for a knighthood.
Goody, who made her name by shooting her mouth off on the Channel 4 reality TV show Big Brother, is terminally ill with cancer, and has only weeks left to live.
A fan of Jade's, the Queen has, therefore, acted swiftly, and has summond her to Buckingham Palace for a quickie dubbing.
Goody married her criminal boyfriend, Jack Tweedy, two weeks ago, and the pair will both receive the Queen's sword next week.
Jade will henceforth be Sir Jade Baddy of Essex, whilst her husband will, in the future, operate under the somewhat distinguished title of Lord Jack t'Weedy of Nuffin.
Max Clifford won't be unavailable for comment for long.
