So was there a grain of truth to the "I'm f**king Matt Damon!" Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel video gag?

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Saturday, 19 July 2008


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The cause of the Jimmy and Sarah Breakup?

Hollywood, California - The Hollywood rumor mill is working overtime in the aftermath of the news of the Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel breakup. Word, their relationship meltdown came when Uncle Frank shined his flashlight into a darkened green room, catching Silverman and Damon performing fellatio and cunnilingus on each other in apparently their favorite position.

Allegedly, all the while Kimmel was out front just a few yards away finishing up an interview with a guest, getting ready to set up Damon for his apology gag of running out of time to interview him for his 'Jimmy Kimmel Show Live!"

"Uncle Frank didn't tell Kimmel a thing about it at the time, of course," said a Kimmel show band member. "He didn't want to be the one to suddenly break the news to him, trying instead, over several months, ever so gently telling Jimmy subtly, throughout the taping of the show."

Only Kimmel never picked up on the signals, or maybe he just didn't want to.

Archive video footage from the "Jimmy Kimmel Show Live!" captured Uncle Frank making seemingly nonsensical hand gestures to Kimmel who brushes them off as character quirks.

"Yeah, but the rest of us got it," said Guillermo, one of the Kimmel show's security guards and sidekicks.

Finally, one night Uncle Frank, unable to contain himself, held up a flashcard that read: 'Sarah is boinking Matt in the green room, Jimmy!"

Unfortunately, Kimmel's comedic mind took over, blocking the reality of the message and it instead used it as an inspiration for the now infamous Sarah Silverman video, "I'm f**king Matt Damon".

"Ever since then," said Guillermo. "Jimmy has been trying to deal with Sarah's infidelity through comedy by making a joke out of it, instead of dealing with it in a serious manner, like taking to a Roman Catholic Priest."

Reportedly, Silverman and Damon just went along with the idea for the rideā€¦on each other; say some of Kimmel's production assistants.

"Jimmy's follow-up video gag of "I'm f**king Ben Affleck" (Matt Damon's best friend) was not as successful as it devolved into a "Friend's" like episode.

"It was really sad," said Guillermo. "Because it was his subconscious lashing out at Sarah and Matt, trying to make both of them jealous."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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