Written by Phil Edgar's Bones

Sunday, 2 November 2008

image for Russell Brand to play cartoon STD in new Hollywood Blockbuster!
Dirty and loveable cess-pit, 'Russell Brand' is the epitome of a cartoon STD say Hollywood Producers !

Comedy 'Legend' Russell Brand who doesn't eat poo or give people STD's on sight (says his mum- who inflicted him on the world!), is to be the voice of a 'cartoon STD'.

Hollywood producers were so impressed by his ability to do nothing and get paid, they have recruited the man of a thousand voices (each one sounding like him or Kenneth Williams) to be "Garry Gonorrhea the Genital Wart" in the latest animated movie.

From the studios of the people that didn't bring you "Snow Dogs", "Shrek", "Robotz", "Antz","Chicken Little" and "Toy-Story" comes a new film called "Disease."

The story is about a hapless, but loveable group of germs that are going to be erradicated by a group of evil scientists with "European" accents.

A young 'American' boy helps the germs and diseases to escape the clutches of the wicked scientists, leaving a trail of madcap mayhem and 'a few tear-jerking moments' behind them.

Hollywood producers state " Children do not have a very positive image of disease. Simply cause it normal kills them, but this is no logical reason to hate disease. Hopefully the kiddies will embrace all sorts of diseases, after they see their favourite stars voice, a variety of bacteria and viruses.

John Travolta is booked to play "Measles" from Brookyln, John Cleese will be playing "Diptheria" and wise-cracking Howard from the Halifax commercials will play "The Black Death".

Heinie Finkleman,
the billionaire producer of "Disease" said "The Kids love "odorous" Russell Brand and the fact he is synonymous with dirt, disease and all things unclean and, sick-making, makes his selection all the funnier"

"I love "Gonorrhea" T shirts are already in production and will be the fashion must-have for the under-tens , next year" said the producer rubbing his money-grabbing, amoral hands.

Talent-dodging 'Brand' will be on target to increase his Multi-millionaire salary and will become one of the richest men in Britain at the expense of impressionable and spoilt kiddies. The producers are considering Jonathan Ross for the role of a big fat parasite.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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