Amy Winehouse has been photographed without her characteristic beehive, rendering the blues skank virtually indistinguishable from run-of-the-mill skanks in the area.
Waiting to be reunited with her husband, who was released from jail last week, Amy told reporters she wanted to do something special to celebrate her husband's homecoming. When asked what the big deal was about changing from a beehive to her thick, black naturally curly doo, she laughed hysterically before dropping her shorts to reveal freshly braided crotch-hair.
Startled reporters dropped their cheese-toast and ran for cover, momentarily thinking Lovecraftian creatures were escaping her nether regions. Cautiously returning moments later, Amy explained that it beat shaving. "A little Witch Hazel and it's the sanitary alternative to bathing every day," she said.
Husband Blake Fielder-Civil served almost a year behind bars for helping to beat up a pub landlord. Blake admits he is anxiously awaiting his reunion and wild, animal sex with Amy. "By the time I finish with her, every time she walks in the wind, she's gonna whistle like a pan flute," he said. He added that ANY sex outside of prison is good sex.
Amy Winehouse, however, is less committal about the impending love-fest. "I'm not sure I can cut down to having sex only 6 or 7 times a day with the same person. After being in jail for a year, and drug-free, he's not the same person I once knew. He's....he's....sober. I'd heard that prison changes a person, but never expected anything that drastic. I just hope we can work through it," she said just before ripping the clothes off a pizza delivery driver and having sex with him on the hood of his car. A brief time later, she resumed the interview.
"I am tired of you...you people interfering in other people's lives. Whatever problems we have, we'll work through them...hey...HEY...you're standing on my uterus, bozo! Like I was saying, you guys stay out of our business. Unless you've got some crack, then come on in!" she said exposing herself to a young reporter who promptly threw up.
Amy is currently working on a new album, tentatively entitled, "Slurred Speech". "It's kind of like Nine Inch Nails on smack," she said.