Diane Abbott's Hairline Receding Fast

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 17 October 2008

image for Diane Abbott's Hairline Receding Fast
Diane Abbott with her receding hairline today

There was drama at the BBC TV studios last night, when This Week host Andrew Neil told his regular political pundit guest, Labour MP Diane Abbott, that her hairline was receding faster than that of ex-Tory Michael Portillo.

Abbott looked embarrassed, as viewers could see the studio lights shining through her wispy locks and bouncing merrily off her black pate.

Abbott, 55, is the Labour MP for Hackney North & Stoke Newington, and has had a lot to worry about. She famously uttered the racist chant against "blonde, blue-eyed Finnish girls" in her local hospital in West London, saying they were completely unsuitable as nursing staff because they "may never have met a black person before".

Conservative MP Ian Bruce commented that he had "never heard such racist rubbish from a Member of Parliament in recent years."

In 2008, she was named one of the ten most powerful black women in Britain. On last night's showing, she is also in the Top 10 of Britain's Baldest Women, and also in the Top 50 of Britain's Baldest Men .

And she looks like she weighs more than a house.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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